Taking the first step into couples counselling

Our experienced couples counsellors at Relationship Counselling Kent have enabled hundreds of couples to successfully achieve their goals. However, we never lose site of the fact that taking the decision to seek help for your relationship, can be difficult and can be all the more challenging if one of you is resistant to relationship counselling.

However, rest assured, couples counselling is extremely powerful and nowhere near as daunting as you might think. Our relationship counsellors are not there to play judge and jury because it’s not about who is right or wrong. They are there to ask you all the right questions and encourage open discussion,in order for you to try understand one an others perspectives. Ultimately, it’s about helping you both achieve the outcome you want, even if one or both of you are unsure ofwhat that is at the start.

We regularly receive feedback that our couple counsellors have an exceptional ability to help all their clients feel quickly at ease. This is important, because we understand, when couples feel comfortable they find it easier to open-up and communicate. This also helps your therapist understand the particular issues you are facing – from each individual perspective.

Our Relationship counsellors certainly won’t sit there silently waiting for you to speak. They will however, take an active part in the conversation and in the process of recovery and change.

What happens?

You will be in a safe, confidential non-judgemental environment where:-

• You will both be asked what you would like to get out of the couples counselling sessions. Whether you would like to try and stay together, or perhaps want help in ending the relationship amicably. (it’s still important to go through the below process in order to be able do that).
• Or maybe, one or both of you are unsure about what you want at this stage. Perhaps you would prefer to see how you feel after the couples counselling.  This is not a problem and is very common. We will work towards what you both want, even you are unsure.
• You will be both be given equal opportunity to express what you feel the issues are in the relationship and when you think they began. At this point your relationship counsellors will more than likely ask you for some examples of a situation of when a certain type of behaviour hurt/upset or angered you. This allows more context to what you are trying to explain to your partner
• As the couples therapy progresses, the aim is to encourage your partner to hear what you are saying and vice versa. That way you will both begin to see the bigger picture of what is going on between you.
• You will be both be given help to really listen and try and understand each others points of view. Importantly, having a third party perspective here can be really useful because sometimes it’s hard to see things clearly when emotions are involved.
• Both of you will find out what is really important to you and learn how to manage your emotions. You will also be given the opportunity to find out how you can set limits/expectations over what behaviour you will and won’t accept from each other.
• You will learn about each others differences and needs and agree on compromises going forward.
• It will be an opportunity for you both to gain new insight into yourself and the other person. And most importantly learn how to bring back intimacy and loving feelings if you choose to.
• When the sessions come to an end you will be given help and advice on how to keep the relationship on track if that’s the route you choose to take. You will always have the added reassurance of following up with a maintenance session at any time you choose.

Even after the first relationship counselling session. Most couples report to feeling a huge sense of relief that something is finally being done to bring about change in their relationship. Request To Book An Appointment