If you have recently discovered your partner has been having an affair, you will know how difficult it is to deal with. It’s not just the pain of the betrayal you have to try and process, it’s also the loss of trust in your spouse and your relationship.
Learning that a partner you believed to be faithful, was in fact cheating, can feel overwhelming. People regulary report to feeling confused, shocked, hurt and angry. Unable to fully assimilate and accept what has happened. Unsurprisingly, the person who has been cheated upon might struggle with the simplest of decisions regarding their relationship or day to day tasks.
Affairs rarely have just one cause and they don’t always happen because of unhappiness or dissatisfaction in a relationship. It’s vital that you both understand the real reasons why it happened.
Affairs, infidelity or cheating usually (but not always) arise in a relationship that already has underlying problems which have not been addressed. This can be hard to accept, especially for the person who feels betrayed.
Many couples seek therapy following an affair or infidelity. Our ‘Two Hour Intensive Recovery Session’ is often requested immediately upon discovering an affair. This is because people feel they desperately need help in coming to terms with what they have found out. Sometimes the person who suffered the deceit finds it difficult to move on, and many years down the line it still eats away at the relationship.
Our couple counsellors will help you explore what had been going leading up to the affair. It is vital that you (both) understand the real reasons why it happened. This can be very painful. But it helps to know what went wrong, so you can both work towards changing things in the future.
Relationship Counselling can help the person who looked outside the relationship understand what they were seeking elsewhere. Click – Unsure what counts as cheating?
Only you can decide what to do after an affair and whatever you decide will not be easy. Affairs tend to wreak havoc in a relationship but they can also provide the opportunity for positive change too.
An affair can also have destructive effects on your family, children and friends. Even so, an affair does not always mean the end of your relationship. With hard work, commitment and patience, it may be possible to come through this crisis and sometimes it can make a relationship stronger.
If you would like some professional help through infidelity counselling then ontact us at Relationship Counselling Kent today Request an appointment
We are an experienced team of professional relationship counsellors located throughout Kent. Relationship Counselling Kent will help you gain understanding of your partner’s perspective. This will enable you both to move forward in the direction you choose.
© 2010 – 2023 Relationship Counselling Kent
Jackie Hare My husband and I were both very nervous and unsure of what our session with Jackie would be. We were quickly reassured and had everything explained to us. Jackie is wonderful, she is the perfect mix of funny, reassuring and knowledgeable. My husband and I were in a rut, Jackie helped us to see the importance of us again. We would not hesitate to use Jackie's services again if the need arises, however, using the tools she equipped us with we both believe we won't need to. Jackie helped us talk to each other about things we would never have done so without her help. We are proud of us for going to marriage counselling but we feel very lucky to have met Jackie and used her amazing guidance.
Jackie Hare Dear Jackie, I can't thank you enough for all your help during our sessions. You have given me the tools and skills I need to move forward in a positive way. I particularly liked the way you had saved notes from my first contact for counselling so that at the end we could re-cap and ensure all my issues had been worked through. Having the notes from you has really helped too as I like to be able to read through them so that I don't forget anything important that we talked about. What was really interesting is the way you helped me to work through my problems rather than just suggesting solutions to me. I enjoyed my "eureka" moments where suddenly a penny would drop and I would see something from a completely different perspective. And as far as those eureka moments go, I still have them - do you remember we talked about how unrealistic a lot of those romantic comedies are particularly from the 80s and 90s and I realised recently that a lot of pop songs can be exactly the same if you listen to the lyrics. I listen and watch now with a very different point of view! Not sure if you found it online but the documentary called Romantic Comedy by Elizabeth Sankey is really interesting to watch. Thanking you so much, Best wishes, Neana x
Jackie Hare Jackie helped us at a time when we were approaching rock bottom in our relationship. We both found her to be friendly, very approachable and reassuring. She helped us to communicate at a much deeper level and to understand the other's point of view. We would thoroughly recommend Jackie to any couple going through relationship difficulties.
Kathy Hoggart Kathy Hoggart is amazing! With Kathy’s help my husband and I are back ‘on track’. Kathy reassured us that both of our feelings count and because of this Kathy gained our trust instantly. Kathy quickly helped us to identify what could be causing our issues and how we can use simple techniques and solutions to resolve/manage/accept them. Kathy had a very thoughtful approach throughout our sessions so that they were well planned and logical but also free flowing and flexible and without her being overbearing or dictating the pace. We had quick exercises that we willingly did in between our sessions that also really helped with our conversation during them. The support Kathy gave us to resolve our issues was superb. The tips and encouragement Kathy gave us helped us to work well together during the sessions. We were also able to work independently so that we made good progress from one session to the next. We are still using those tips now and we still remind each other when we need to of the wonderful guidance Kathy gave so that we can continue to benefit from it whenever we need to.
Kaye Barney I have recently been helped by Kaye Barney and through my sessions I can honestly say I have felt improvement. She helped create a open and friendly platform in which we could discuss the relevant topics that helped ease my overall stress and anxiety. I would recommend Kaye very highly and I would not hesitate to book further sessions if I felt the need. I would also recommend the online sessions and found them far less stressful that adding extra travel to my day.