Relationship Breakups or Divorce

Relationship Counselling & Marriage Guidance Near Ashford, Kent
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Relationship Breakups


When a relationship comes to an end it can be one of the most agonising things we experience in life, often leading to people seeking therapy.  Whether it’s you, or your partner’s decision to leave, you are still likely to experience a roller-coaster of emotions. Our warm, understanding counsellors are here to help you talk things through, which will enable you to come to terms with things much quicker.

If you ended the relationship, you might be experiencing feelings of anxiety and insecurity. Even if you knew the relationship was coming to an end. it can still be a struggle as you begin to work through the emotional wrench along with practicalities involved. You might feel concerned about the future or being alone. Sometimes the number of decisions you might have to make can feel overwhelming.

If you didn’t want the relationship to end, you may be feeling bitter and betrayed. Or perhaps you feel powerless, hurt or angry. You may want your partner back, or maybe you want to learn more about you, or perhaps you want to learn how to stop picking the ‘wrong’ partners.

Talking about how you feel

Relationships can have a pull on us long after they’re over. It can be difficult to accept that something that was once such a big part of your life is now a becoming a memory and our partner like a stranger. Likewise, unresolved issues can make it difficult to accept that the relationship has ended at all.

People often tell us that they they feel ‘stuck’ going over and over what happened. Seemingly making it feel impossible to move on. This is often made more difficult by social media. Simply logging on is a constant reminder and seeing updates or photos from your ex can leave you heartbroken all over again

Whatever the circumstances, it is natural to feel a sense of loss or grief. Perhaps you had hopes and dreams about what the relationship might have been – even if you were the one who wanted to move on.  These strong emotions can be obstacles in helping you move on and face the future after separation or divorce.

Letting go

One of the hardest things to let go of following the end of a relationship is sometimes anger and blame. Endlessly questioning who did what, what could have been done differently and who ended up feeling worse. But this kind of thinking will only make you feel bitter, regretful and tends to go in circles.

How can individual therapy help?

Our therapists will help you talk through how you feel. Whilst helping you gain a greater understanding as to why the relationship might have broken down in the first place.

Although it isn’t always easy, your therapist will help you focus on what the relationship was lacking and how it failed to meet you or your partner’s needs. It isn’t about who was right and who was wrong, it’s about being realistic about what happened and why.

We will gently encourage you to be honest about the warning signs that you may have ignored. We will talk through the things that may have caused arguments – not just who caused them. And, crucially, try to understand if you played a part.

Although you might find the answers upsetting. Ultimately, it will make it easier for you to let go of the past and help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

We can’t change the situation for you but we can help you learn to accept what has happened. This will help you put the relationship in a ‘place’ and when you are ready you will be able to move to forward more positively. If you would like to book an appointment to talk through your relationship breakup. Request an appointment

Problems we can help you with