Some couple report to using pornography as a way to enhance their sexual relationship. Others don’t want anything to do with it. And a third group have opposing views about the use of pornography.
What happens when one partner wants to view pornography independently of the relationship? What does this solo sexual gratification mean to the relationship? Should it be seen as a threat to a partner? Or is should a partner just accept that viewing porn is the norm? What happens if a partner becomes hooked on pornography?
We see lots of couples experiencing problems because either one has become dependent on internet sex or have porn addiction. Far too many couples don’t know how to deal with pornography in their relationship.
Do you find you are being secretive about your online activity? Or perhaps you are spending increasing amounts of time online alone? Maybe you have compulsive thoughts about using the internet for sexual purposes and are finding it difficlut to break? Any of these can begin to cause problems in your ‘real-life’ relatiionships.
Perhaps you are feeling more aroused by online activity than you do with your partner or you feel guilt about the amount of time you spend on the internet and get angry if challenged. Perhaps you argue that “internet sex isn’t real” so your partner shouldn’t get upset. If you recognise any of these signs in yourself, or in your partner, then the internet or porn may be affecting your relationship.
This topic can cause great stress in relationships. Because, even though technology is offering access that is affordable and provides anonymity, it doesn’t reduce the negative impact it can have on a partner. People often report that discovering their partner is regulary using pornography feel as much a betrayal as a real life affair.
Our couple counsellors will you both talk through how you are feeling. We will help the person, who has come dependent on porn, to understand what they are getting from it and the impact it is having on their partner and their relationship. This understanding goes a long way in helping you both find a way to move forward.
If you would like some help to deal with the impact of porn in your relationship contact us at Relationsip Counselling Kent today Request an appointment