Some couple report to using pornography as a way to enhance their sexual relationship. Others don’t want anything to do with it. And a third group have opposing views about the use of pornography.
What happens when one partner wants to view pornography independently of the relationship? What does this solo sexual gratification mean to the relationship? Should it be seen as a threat to a partner? Or is should a partner just accept that viewing porn is the norm? What happens if a partner becomes hooked on pornography?
We see lots of couples experiencing problems because either one has become dependent on internet sex or have porn addiction. Far too many couples don’t know how to deal with pornography in their relationship.
Do you find you are being secretive about your online activity? Or perhaps you are spending increasing amounts of time online alone? Maybe you have compulsive thoughts about using the internet for sexual purposes and are finding it difficlut to break? Any of these can begin to cause problems in your ‘real-life’ relatiionships.
Perhaps you are feeling more aroused by online activity than you do with your partner or you feel guilt about the amount of time you spend on the internet and get angry if challenged. Perhaps you argue that “internet sex isn’t real” so your partner shouldn’t get upset. If you recognise any of these signs in yourself, or in your partner, then the internet or porn may be affecting your relationship.
This topic can cause great stress in relationships. Because, even though technology is offering access that is affordable and provides anonymity, it doesn’t reduce the negative impact it can have on a partner. People often report that discovering their partner is regulary using pornography feel as much a betrayal as a real life affair.
Our couple counsellors will you both talk through how you are feeling. We will help the person, who has come dependent on porn, to understand what they are getting from it and the impact it is having on their partner and their relationship. This understanding goes a long way in helping you both find a way to move forward.
If you would like some help to deal with the impact of porn in your relationship contact us at Relationsip Counselling Kent today Request an appointment
We are an experienced team of professional relationship counsellors located throughout Kent. Relationship Counselling Kent will help you gain understanding of your partner’s perspective. This will enable you both to move forward in the direction you choose.
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Jackie Hare My husband and I were both very nervous and unsure of what our session with Jackie would be. We were quickly reassured and had everything explained to us. Jackie is wonderful, she is the perfect mix of funny, reassuring and knowledgeable. My husband and I were in a rut, Jackie helped us to see the importance of us again. We would not hesitate to use Jackie's services again if the need arises, however, using the tools she equipped us with we both believe we won't need to. Jackie helped us talk to each other about things we would never have done so without her help. We are proud of us for going to marriage counselling but we feel very lucky to have met Jackie and used her amazing guidance.
Jackie Hare Dear Jackie, I can't thank you enough for all your help during our sessions. You have given me the tools and skills I need to move forward in a positive way. I particularly liked the way you had saved notes from my first contact for counselling so that at the end we could re-cap and ensure all my issues had been worked through. Having the notes from you has really helped too as I like to be able to read through them so that I don't forget anything important that we talked about. What was really interesting is the way you helped me to work through my problems rather than just suggesting solutions to me. I enjoyed my "eureka" moments where suddenly a penny would drop and I would see something from a completely different perspective. And as far as those eureka moments go, I still have them - do you remember we talked about how unrealistic a lot of those romantic comedies are particularly from the 80s and 90s and I realised recently that a lot of pop songs can be exactly the same if you listen to the lyrics. I listen and watch now with a very different point of view! Not sure if you found it online but the documentary called Romantic Comedy by Elizabeth Sankey is really interesting to watch. Thanking you so much, Best wishes, Neana x
Jackie Hare Jackie helped us at a time when we were approaching rock bottom in our relationship. We both found her to be friendly, very approachable and reassuring. She helped us to communicate at a much deeper level and to understand the other's point of view. We would thoroughly recommend Jackie to any couple going through relationship difficulties.
Kathy Hoggart Kathy Hoggart is amazing! With Kathy’s help my husband and I are back ‘on track’. Kathy reassured us that both of our feelings count and because of this Kathy gained our trust instantly. Kathy quickly helped us to identify what could be causing our issues and how we can use simple techniques and solutions to resolve/manage/accept them. Kathy had a very thoughtful approach throughout our sessions so that they were well planned and logical but also free flowing and flexible and without her being overbearing or dictating the pace. We had quick exercises that we willingly did in between our sessions that also really helped with our conversation during them. The support Kathy gave us to resolve our issues was superb. The tips and encouragement Kathy gave us helped us to work well together during the sessions. We were also able to work independently so that we made good progress from one session to the next. We are still using those tips now and we still remind each other when we need to of the wonderful guidance Kathy gave so that we can continue to benefit from it whenever we need to.
Kaye Barney I have recently been helped by Kaye Barney and through my sessions I can honestly say I have felt improvement. She helped create a open and friendly platform in which we could discuss the relevant topics that helped ease my overall stress and anxiety. I would recommend Kaye very highly and I would not hesitate to book further sessions if I felt the need. I would also recommend the online sessions and found them far less stressful that adding extra travel to my day.