Hello my name is Gill Syred and I am a fully qualified ‘Integrative Therapist’ and Couple Counsellor. I am based at Relationship Counselling Kent’s Gillingham practice. I have a BSC (hons) in Social Science and a Diploma in ‘Therapeutic Counselling’ and a ‘Diploma in Clinical Supervision’. Which means I supervise other therapists so they are able to do their job more competently.
I’m a registered member of the BACP (British Association of Counselling Psychotherapists). Working in an ‘integrative’ way means I use different theoretical concepts, depending on a couple’s particular situation. That’s because I understand that couple is unique and one size certainly doesn’t fit all. Alongside being a Relationship Counsellor I am also trained in ‘Cognitive Behavioural Therapy’ (CBT) ‘Trauma therapy’ and ‘CATT therapy’ (Children’s Accelerated Trauma Technique).
Sometimes couples find the idea of seeking couple therapy to be quite daunting. However, in my experience, even though it might be difficult at first, couples always feel better for talking to a professional relationship counsellor. Because, having a third party in the room, helps to take some of the emotion out of the situation so you are able to see things more clearly.
Often, one or both partners try and ignore the problems in their relationship in the hope that they go away – this doesn’t happen. In fact, when things get pushed under the carpet it often leads to deep seated resentment on both sides. It is so important for couples to be able to openly and honestly communicate with each other in order to have a healthy relationship.
Active listening is a skill that can get lost in our busy lives. However, it is a skill that is vital for a happy relationship. Active listening is achieved through really ‘hearing’ and trying to understand to what our partner has to say. Along with learning how to discuss our own thoughts and feelings more openly. Relationship therapy will help you acheive that.
At the beginning of our first session, I will ask you both what you hope to achieve out of the therapy. Whether you are hoping to make your relationship work better than it is currently is or whether you would like help in separating more amicably. At this point, you might feel unsure and that is okay, we will work together to help you find clarity.
I will provide you with a safe, supportive and non-judgemental space to help you identify and work through the difficulties you are experiencing. It could be that your relationship lacks intimacy or the same arguments keep happening over and over. Perhaps you feel stuck, going around and around in circles but never getting anywhere. Maybe one of you has been unfaithful and you are looking for help to work through this.
When you have a neutral space to talk it will enable me the opportunity to feedback the dynamics I observe within the session. This will help you make sense of what is going on. It is certainly not about me attributing blame to either of you. It’s about me helping you understand the role you both are playing which may be causing problems in the relationship. It’s also about me helping you accept that you don’t always have to see eye to eye on everything.
I will help you both to be more patient, respectful and understanding of each other’s experiences so you are able to move forward more positively – in whichever way you choose.
It is also important that I get to know both of you on a personal level. Because maybe one or both of you have issues from your past that you may want to discuss individually.
If you decide you wish to separate I will help guide you through these difficult emotions. Losing, not only the relationship but someone you once loved or maybe still do love. Along with the loss of the future once planned, can feel overwhelming. However, therapy can help you come to terms with loss and help you learn to accept it. It will also help you build upon your strengths so you can find a way forward and a new beginning.
If you would like to make an appointment with Gill at Couple Counselling Gillingham. Please contact her via Relationship Counselling Kent today. Request an appointment